From Ethos of Saxes
“the mask I wear” from Ethos of Saxes - ft. Don-Paul Kahl
the mask I wear was commissioned by Don-Paul Kahl. Due to his residence in Ghent, Belgium, I had not had the opportunity to meet Don-Paul prior to this project. I had heard his name when he commissioned my mentor, David Biedenbender, for a piece for his duo, so it was really great that he wanted to be involved with this project. What I learned was that so many of the anxieties that I experience about heteronormative life were also experienced by Don-Paul and made me feel like we were kindred spirits. In our meeting he used the word mask, which immediately felt relatable to how I feel all the time. Between my Latinx, Jewish, and Queer backgrounds, I often hide behind my whiteness as a form of safety. As queer people it’s so easy to just live behind a mask. As someone who feels disconnected from my Latinx background, due to a culture of assimilationism in the 1950s, and my dads disconnected relationship to the Spanish language, I often feel like that space is not mine. The mask I ask you to take off, includes hidden campy quotes that have been masked (some more than others, can you find them all?), some groove, but hides behind "Louder, Faster, Harder, Stronger," which I feel can come across as toxic masculinity.
”Drifting” from Ethos of Saxes - ft. Kate von Bernthal
Drifting was commissioned by Kate von Bernthal. I met Kate at the last bar I went to before the COVID-19 pandemic began, at the North American Saxophone Alliance Biennial conference in my hometown in Arizona. I remember hitting it off with her, but I didn’t get to know her outisde of a loud social situation until we met to discuss this piece. As the only person on the project, I was able to see her in person while discussing her music; it was a joyous occasion to share a beer at a brewery in Detroit, MI. Drifting gives the performer a large amount of agency for shape, meaning, and overall presentation. While the indie music scene influenced it with artists such as Bon Iver and S. Carey, it should reflect the aesthetic taste of the performer. It is tough to play this piece wrong. People who don’t seem to be taking the path that everyone else takes are called drifters, but in this case, finding yourself and doing what you want to find happiness is a joyous thing and should be celebrated.
“the fun of it all” from Ethos of Saxes - ft. Kyle Jones
the fun of it all was commissioned by Kyle Jones as part of the Georgia Senate Runoff election commissioning project led by Matt Kennedy. I met Kyle at the 2020 NASA Biennial conference at a dinner that the brilliant saxophonist Noa Evan invited me to, and we immediately hit it off. throughout the pandemic, we got to know each other. When I saw his name come up on the Georgia project, I knew I had to make it happen. “the fun of it all” is a line from a poem, titled December Dirge, written by my late grandmother Joan Levine who passed away in June 2016. My grandfather had passed away only six months prior in December, and she wrote this while in the hospital with him. It always makes me cry when I read it, as she made all these life plans for when she was on her own. In the months after he died, before she got sick, we spoke nearly every week, more than we had ever. None of this has anything to do with Kyle or even this piece, but the line… the fun of it all. Kyle has encouraged me so much to live a more openly gay existence. Yes, I have been out with no hesitation since 2011 (and realistically not till 2013). Still, if I’m honest with myself, it wasn’t until much more recently, particularly during the pandemic, that I realized that I was not genuinely embracing gay culture and the fun and enjoyment of life without hesitation.
Mt. Nowhere - ft. Scotty Phillips
“Mt. Nowhere” was commissioned by Scotty Phillips. I have known Scotty the longest of all the people on this project; having grown up in the West Valley of Phoenix Metro, we eventually attended Arizona schools. We were both involved in the organization Kappa Kappa Psi – him at Northern Arizona, and me at Arizona State. The motto for that org is to strive for the highest. One thing that I think happens when aiming for the highest, which can often be hard to deal with, is trying so hard for perfection and growth that you take a step back in your development as a person and musician. This piece explores this idea through Ambient music, which has been an essential part of my growth as a musician, primarily through Brian Eno. It can explore many things, but it often does helps me by removing stress and frustration through relaxation. I imagine myself exploring a mountain that never ends and is not about the journey and instead is about the exploration. Its gentle yet can also be overbearing. Its duration can be quite long or short, but most important is how long you want it to be. With all that in mind, Mt. Nowhere should be explored, not conquered. There is no top, but there is certainly a path you may choose, and while it is not about striving for the highest, it is about striving for growth and self-reflection.
Saxophone and Electronics
What is your World - ft. Jared Waters
What is your World? was written in collaboration with Queer saxophonists and the wider Queer community. The goal of the work was to give voice to Queer voices from across the world (or at least the internet). As Queer folk, we are often times silenced and our opinions are made to be irrelevant. In asking the question, “What is your world?” my goal was to show that our worlds are more than our sexuality: we are a diverse community, we have agency to speak up when we want, and agency to stay quiet when we want. The following 117 words and phrases were provided anonymously by members of the Queer community, and have all made their way into the piece. What is Your World? was commissioned by Grace Gelpi, McCall Kochevar, Jared Waters, and Ella Marchetti.